When Josh was just 7, he was incredibly shy. I mean the kind of shy that made it difficult for him to look a new person in the eye let alone have anything to say. He was a beautiful, blonde-headed soul with a big, empathic heart and the world was a harsh place to be for one so tender. Nevertheless, life goes on and somehow as he grew, he learned to exist with other people. He spent his free days fishing for brook trout in the creek by our house and climbing trees with his good friend, Warwick. Animals always felt safe with Josh and we all noticed how they would quietly gravitate to his soft touch. The neighborhood cat came over to our house to have her kittens and she birthed her litter while leaning against his leg…the only spot she could settle. Deer would sleep-stand outside his bedroom window, relaxed somehow and feeling safe.
One day Josh went off to play with a few boys that were from school but not his usual play buddies. They were gone awhile that afternoon but in our quiet, little town, I wasn’t worried. When he came home that day he went straight up to his room and shut the door. Something was up. When he didn’t come down for his usual afternoon snack, I went up to check. Opening the door quietly, I found him laying diagonally across his bed, on his back, fiddling with his childhood doll, Choukles.
I sat down on the bed and said nothing for a few minutes.
“Would you like to tell me about it?” I asked quietly.
Apparently he was ready to talk because he sat up and dug out a pack of Juicy Fruit gum from his pocket. It was unopened. He handed it to me solemnly. We shared a look. He then told me about how the boys had gone into Mr. Tucker’s corner store and while he was there he took the gum and did not pay for it. Tears slid down his cheeks as he confessed his crime.
Most mothers face this sort of thing along their parenting career at one time or another. But this was a first for me with this very sensitive boy. I asked him, what about this was troubling his heart.
“Mom, I know it was wrong to take it. I didn’t have the 25cents but I wanted it real bad so I just slipped it in my pocket. Mr. T is always real nice to us kids after school and I feel real bad I did something bad to him.” He explained. I asked him what he wanted to do about it. I knew, he knew, he needed to make things right again.
“Well, can you just take me to the store and when he’s not looking, I will put the gum on the counter and we can go?” Was his solution.
“That will not pass the Safeway Rule, Josh.” I said gravely.
“What is the Safeway Rule?” He wanted to know.
“Well, if you do that then what if in a few weeks, you are standing in the line at Safeway waiting to check out. And while you are waiting you turn around and look up to see Mr. Tucker standing behind you and he looks right at you. How will you feel?” I asked
He seemed to take that in a moment, then said, “I felt hot and bad in my stomach when you said that. I guess I would want to get away, quick, in case he knew I took it and he yelled at me or something.”
“If you brought the gum back into his store and returned it to him, and apologized, would that change things at Safeway later?” I asked.
“I think so. Yes. But I’m scared to do that!” He declared emphatically.
“I am going to check on dinner. You think about it and we can talk about it again in a little bit.” I said. I left to do just that and only a few minutes later Josh was standing behind me as I stirred a pot on the stove.
“Can you take me there right now, Mom? And do you have a quarter. I want to give him that, too.” He asked.
“Good choice.” I said then turned off the stove and we drove the short distance to the little corner store. I waited in the car. I saw a few people leave and I knew Josh was waiting until no one else would hear. It didn’t take long until he returned. I didn’t ask, just drove on home. When we pulled up and parked I turned to him.
“Well, how did it go?” I asked.
“I was pretty scared but told him I did it and I gave the gum back. At first, he had a mad look on his face but then I laid the quarter next to the gum and said I was sorry. His face wasn’t mad anymore, he took the gum and the quarter, then and he said he accepted my apology and asked me not to ever do it again. I promised him I wouldn’t and he said I could still come in there after school.” He said, puffing out his chest at that last part.
“And how would you feel if he stood behind you in line at Safeway tomorrow?” I asked.
“I’d just say hi. No bad feeling in my stomach.” He answered as he opened the car door. He smiled his thanks and went into the house.
Josh had managed his fear and sorted his problem out. And the Safeway Rule had taught my young son the power of integrity and how it feels when you do not have it.